Monday, 28 February 2011

Cheeky Cheeky....!

The British are widely mocked for their reserved natures and stiff upper lips, especially by our more liberated European cousins and never more so than when it comes to "l'amour". Ha! Little do they know what goes on behind closed doors! Whilst the Belgians are straightening their cucumbers, the French are passionately cremé-ing their Anglais and the Italians are "Doing It Better", we are invariably (as the News of the World would have us believe) stuffing our mouths with oranges and being spanked by an overweight couple from Wigan whilst "dogging" on the M6.

Now, as I’m sure you can imagine, we at Guilty Pleasures like things a little more risqué than risky (and very very much less revolting...) and as such believe in a much simpler time, a time when it was all about what was hidden behind a fan, feather or tassel and not what was shoved, bounced or slapped surgically, into your face through your 3D TV or monitor.

I was lucky enough to have been brought up on a diet of Benny Hill, Kenny Everett and Carry On films so I worry for today’s kids. In the Age of Instant Gratification, they don’t have to wait until Saturday to buy their Kylie cassettes from the town and they certainly don’t have to tape their favourite tracks from the Sunday afternoon Chart Show. Everything and anything they need can be found online and so there is no innocence and very little "Cheeky" these days, it's all hard-core Hentai midget porn and ITunes for today’s youngsters! They don’t read Just 17 and practice kissing on the back of their hand, in fact they are barely 17 and they practice a lot more than kissing....on each other! I cannot imagine what the kids on my street would make of Benny Hill and I wholeheartedly expect they would describe Kenny's fooling’s dressed as Cupid Stunt, as a bit "battyboy". That said, I could easily spend a rainy Sunday afternoon eating cupcakes and watching Babs expertly fling off a brazier or fire off a minxy giggle but maybe even I would find Ben & Ken slightly odd by today’s standards.

And so, to the point! The Brits like all great sexually repressed nationalities were masters of the naughty, the "tongue in cheek" if you pardon the blatant innuendo. Growing up, as I did very close to the South Seas (ok that sounds all very South Pacific doesn’t it? Maybe it’s closer to the truth if we just say Southsea....) life was all candyfloss; kiss me quick hats and Seaside Sauciness - in the form of postcards rather than sailors I should add!

A friend had asked me to create a cake that she could take to a celebration at the beach last September. Now at that time we were still basking in the 4 minutes of sun that our summers allow and it got me thinking back to my youth and giggling at the large breasted "dolly birds" and skinny little guys on the postcards we used to receive and send to our friends. I remembered the vibrant colours and bawdy humour and desperately wanted to transfer the feeling to the cake.

Luckily, this lovely lady always gives me a free reign to design anything I desire and thankfully, she is not so easily offended! (Check back soon as I have been re-commissioned for a Line Dancing Extravaganza and I've been told I can make the chest as big as I like!!)

So here is the Seaside Sauciness cake in all its bawdy, rock sucking glory!

And remember boys and girls in the words of the Transylvanian ambassadors to excellent pop tunes...

"Come and smile, don't be shy
Touch my bum, this is life
Cheeky Cheeky
We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys
Cheeky Cheeky"

And now it’s onto the next...........I’m afraid my dears there can be no rest for the decadently wicked cheeky ;o) x


  1. Those were the days.... going down to Woolworths on a Saturday with my £5 note to get the latest Kylie. Or Rick Astley, Bros, Bananarama or anything by Stock Aitken and Waterman for that matter! The anticipation nearly killed me, not to mention if they had - dah dah daaaah - sold out!! Nooooooooooo!!!

    I never went down there with my £5 for the Cheeky Girls mind. x

  2. Sadly agree that technology has meant that people are forgetting how to enjoy simple things and indulge in reality, you know, the outdoors and real people, and with a bit of discretion. Take for example, as I know too well, slightly bigger kids (or men, as they are called by some) in the world of poking someone on Facebook they have completely forgotten how to talk, charm or just not be a total nob the second they open their mouths.

    Fortunately there is hope and for those out there who will inherit qualities such as charm, class, light hearted cheekiness and appreciation of the little things in life (e.g those gorgeous little cup cakes I just took a look at) from their mums (yes that means you Mimi Grace).

    Kylie's peek was a little before my time but I do remember buying Britney Spear's singles out of Woolies (long before the head shaving incident) and of course, as Mimi Grace well knows, Backstreet Boys CD's, officially the best boyband ever.

    The beach cake is superb, very funny.... I may have a job for you!

    HDHM xxx