Friday, 28 January 2011

Sleepless (4781.61 miles Out Of) Seattle

Now I don't remember a great deal about the movie (in fact so much brain killing booze has passed my lips since 1993* that I cant remember if I have even seen it all the way through) but I'm pretty sure that Meg Ryan wasn't stamping around her office barking at everyone who says good morning. Now THAT is just one of the differences between me and Meg this week....

(*I should point out, mainly for any mothers in the audience today, that I wasn't actually drinking in 1993....)

I adore sleep, its completely marvelous and entirely decadent, especially if you don't have children and can snooze as long as you want without having to get up and put CBeebies on. Unfortunately for me an uninterrupted sleep is a thing of what feels like the very distant past - in fact the idea is practically prehistoric (although if I am being uncharacteristically free from exaggeration I probably should just say..the week before Christmas 2010).
After seeing many movies and shows alerting me to the dangers of inviting guests into your home, think True Blood, Twilight, Supernatural, Let the Right One In.....and on and appears that I have been tricked (and not for the first time) by the naughty (and potentially maleficent) masquerading as the cute and charming.
Although the following picture of my new nemesis shows her in an adorably sassy mood , I do implore you not to be taken in. She can be rather like Gizmo so I suggest that no-one feeds her after midnight and for goodness sake don't get her wet....

Kittens (and mine in particular) are known to be playful, that's fine, I understand. Its all part of the fun but tell me this - how would you feel waking up almost every hour on the hour and being confronted with Twiglets alter ego? Its terrifying I assure you............

Ok Ok so she is not as scary as a camp 70's villain, Ka-Pow, BAM! fact she can (at times) be the sweetest thing on Earth (even if she does smell of Marmite...) But I did warn you, I'm moody through sleep deprivation!!

So whilst I have been cranky and moments away from dribbling onto my keyboard I heard about someone else with their own brand of sleep anomaly! I was asked to prepare a cake for someones 50th as a cheeky snapshot of her life. It appears that this lady is so exhausted from teaching little ones at school all day that invariably come 9pm (regardless of guests) she can be found, sound asleep on the sofa. I tried to stick with relaxing blues and neutral colours with this design in an attempt to relax myself and also to bring the focal point to Bec drifting off in her evening gown having kicked off her Louboutins for the day. For those interested in such things the Louboutins are a nod to a cake I made for her family member last year.

So spare a thought for those of us desperately counting sheep or merely cowering under the covers as a savage Twiglet beats you across the head (and most likely formulates a terrible and heart stopping plan to bring down Batman and all residents of Gotham City).

And please do not even get me started on the ghosts that live in my wall, I have not been so scared since Mr Pipes revealed himself in 1992 and Sarah Greene ended up trapped in the cupboard under the stairs!

And now it’s onto the next.....I’m afraid my dears there can be no SLEEP for the decadently wicked x

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Mamma Mimi

Eleven days ago I rocked the Twitter community with a crashing bombshell....Mimi Grace was shutting up shop and would no longer be the spearhead for finding fashion and beauty secrets in The City - we would, once more have to return to Carrie Bradshaw with our tails between our legs and offer up our Jimmy's as an apologetic sacrifice.

(I say "rocked" but of course, I am only influential in my mind)!

Never the less it was in fact a bittersweet day for GP Cakes, I may have said goodbye to Mimi Grace but Britney's new single "Hold It Against Me" was released - you see, its like my rather technically minded mother once said - "when a blogging door closes an itunes window opens" and you cant say fairer than that.
I read that Brit could be facing a potential lawsuit for this latest single having similarities to The Bellamy Brothers '79 hit "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me". Having danced around the GP kitchen to Britney's song all week I don't see many myself, just a throwback to Shattered Glass from her Circus album - well, enough of my stunning music nouse - this is not Mastermind after all. (Whilst editing I checked the word nouse in Google - I assure you I use it here in place of the word knowledge. However for any readers in Portland, Oregon -its really not what you think)!

So, I'm half out the door with Jimmy's in hand (and just to be clear Jimmy Choos for gents are really nice if anyone does have some spare cash to throw at me....) when I bump into MG and discover that after a little soul searching she is throwing open the doors to her fashionista life once again - so if you can tear yourself away from my musings for a second (I know, its going to be tough but I will wait for you...) then mooch over to her place and look around. Just don't take too long or Ill be drunk by the time you return..........


OK so are you left wondering where this is going? Whats this got to do with Mamma Mia? Are we faced with another year of blogs about cakes where cakes are hardly mentioned? Well maybe, but for now just try and stick with it....

Its hardly a secret that after myself Mimi G is one of my biggest fans and surprisingly, for someone so fashion dedicated (she often turns up to the office as if she sashayed off a Paris catwalk) is a massive fan of my chocolate cupcakes - which as you know I now like to refer to as Rosario's (see previous).
This week saw the birthday of Mimi's mum (hence Mamma Mimi, lame aren't I?) and I was asked if I could rustle up some gorgeous chocolate cupcakes to mark the occasion. As you can imagine I spent several sleepless nights wondering if I would become typecast as "the guy who only makes chocolate cupcakes with roses on them" much in the same way that I imagine Danny Dyer worries people will only see him playing gritty East End gangsters or hoodlums and Daniel Radcliffe tosses and turns hoping that he wont only be remembered for waving his wand about...........

Whilst shrugging off my casting worries with "the lads" I had a flash (really no pun intended) of inspiration. I wouldn't simply recreate the Rosario I would re brand it!!
Behold, my beauties I would like to present iRosario 3.0.....*

So with a new "Classic" under my belt I feel it only fair to warn you that you may need a change of underwear when I unveil Rosariopro on the 3rd February - its going to blow your mind ;o)

*(Please note that any similarities to the Guilty Pleasures 2010 hits "Rosario" and "Glitzy Rosario" are entirely intended)

And now it’s onto the next.....I’m afraid my dears there can be no rest for the decadently wicked x

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Guilty Pleasures - The Trilogy: Part 3 – The Return of the Cakes

So the final part of the Trilogy is all about tying up loose ends before we can all move on. Its ok, you can admit you want to, I can’t hear you anyway….

As a final instalment in my looking back over 2010 I wanted to round up my top 5 cakes of the year before looking forward to whatever 2011 holds for us all (by all, I mean me really but I do love you all…)

Any gushy and rather sentimental “looking back” wouldn’t be complete with mentioning my Website. As Im sure you are all aware my absolutely divine site went live in March this year, so although Im a little early for birthday celebrations I just thought it would be nice to say thank you too all those involved in getting that up and running. And a big thank you to everyone (across the world!!) who continue to spend time wallowing in the sheer decadence of

So enough! Let’s have a look at the top 5 and if your cake is not featured here, I apologise and suggest that you try much harder next year ;o)

Fannies & Feathers (January)

Ok so its potentially rather un PC so have a semi naked woman in a cage, on a cake but this is such a gorgeous celebration of Burlesque and glamour that I couldn’t resist. The tassel cupcakes are vibrant and fun and I’m not ashamed to have this decadent specimen in my top 5.

Knitted Glamour (April)

I’ve already dedicated a blog to this particular cake but it still ranks as a favourite. I love her style and I adore the colours on this, a real touch of 1950’s summer style whilst battling through the April shower blues.

Choco Chanel (April)

I am so lucky to be living in one of the world’s fashion capitals (don’t worry I shall soon be purchasing a loft in Paris….I say soon er let’s just say maybe one day…) In living in such a cosmopolitan Fashion Capital I am of course surrounded by knock off designer goods. I say if you can’t beat em, let’s make one out of cake and join em dah-lings!

Carry On Clacton (September)

With our balmy Summers just getting started September was a perfect month to pull this cheeky little minx out of the bag. I always wanted to head towards the risqué and this embodies most of my philosophy! This is one of my favourites as growing up on the coast you either embrace naughty seaside culture or you join the Navy (in some cases ….both) Ohh I say!

Perkish Delight (December)

More of a collaboration than I would usually give credit for – you know who you are and thank you or your assistance. I admit I had to steamroller the other person on a few aspects here but I had the name before the concept!!! I know only 6 people in the world like Turkish Delight but it just wouldn’t have made sense without it!! And I have to say these are my favourite boobie cupcakes….ever!

So that’s it guys, 2010 has been a whacking huge great big bowl of fun and I cannot wait to get going on 2011. With the commissions so far I can already tell its going to be a corker! A sneak peak you say? Oh ok, keep your eyes peeled for my very first Lady Gaga, the long awaited Glee inspired cupcakes and some very very special wedding cakes.

And now it’s onto the next (year).....I’m afraid my dears there can be no rest for the decadently wicked x

Guilty Pleasures - The Trilogy: Part 2 – Fresh from GP Towers

It’s almost a well known fact that sequels are never as good as the original….(The Little Mermaid 2 – Return to the Sea and Elvira’s Haunted Hills for example) this follow up in the trilogy is also sure to disappoint! No, I’m just pulling your wet look leggings. I’ve actually been saving this one up for quite some time (since August in fact) some may say that’s just laziness, I say however that I didn’t want you gorging yourselves on all the good stuff in one go.

So in a hotly anticipated return to blogging about cakes (ok ok keep the cheering down) its (finally) time to tell you about the day I combined two passions, theatre and cake (I’d tell you about the other time but my mother says she reads this so let’s keep it above gutter level). On a really slow news day this would have been global. However with high hitting stories such as a vicar intending to marry his toyboy lover and Top Gears - The Stig threatening to reveal all….(and not necessarily any good bits before you start implying that it sounds kind of fun). So with all that going on in the world I wouldn’t be surprised if you missed my little news gem.

Since hearing the original Broadway cast album of Legally Blonde it’s fair to say that I have been mildly obsessed with the bouncy , catchy tunes and hilarious lyrics (if you doubt me get yourself a copy and listen to “Gay or European” for a flavour. When I heard the show was transferring to the West End I immediately cancelled my flights to New York and set about getting tickets for one of the early previews. My first GP Tour was certainly not disappointed, one of the “Pleasurites” was even lucky enough to have her ample bosom signed by Duncan James after the show. “It’s for Insurance Dah-ling, now sign Mama’s tits”. Such Fun!

Having now racked up many many more visits, a few understudy performances and a partial cast change I have to say this show fills me to bursting with the same amount of joy and fun as when I first heard the album all that time ago.

One of the really eye opening things for me with this show has been meeting the cast after the performances. It is not something I would usually go in for since I find myself star struck at the best of times (I nearly fell over when I saw Gok Wan on Tower Bridge Road recently –he was miles away….and I don’t watch his shows – in fact its negligible as to whether it was even him)! Anyway, the cast have been so overwhelmingly friendly and nice in the face of having grinning buffoons (me) and sharpies and boobs (not me) thrown at them that I wanted to say thank you in my own special way!

On one particular night whilst chatting to Sheridan Smith (who never once complained that I was slurring or smelt of champers – and let’s face it I probably was and did) I promised that I would make her and the cast a cake to show my expertise (hah) and to say thanks!

Luckily a CD signing was taking place in August at one of my favorite shops in Covent Garden so that was an ideal time to deliver said cake (after all sitting through the show with a two tier chocolate cake on my knees may have got a little tricky – I mean where would I stick the champers!)

So here’s the finished article, as you can imagine I caused further controversy by not giving any cast members their feet (but I think I may have got away with it!)

Thankfully the cake was a hit with the guys and Sheridan very kindly uploaded the following to Twitter (no, I’m not showing off but you may have missed it so I’m just filling in the blanks for you….ok and showing off a touch).

Photograher Roy Tan took the following photos and was kind enough to allow me to use them, if you are unfamiliar with his work I would urge you to check out his West End gallery, just gorgeous.

And so with Sheridan moving on from the show this month I’d like to say a heartfelt good bye from us all, we will no doubt be seeing you around the West End soon enough. And as for the rest of the cast, we will see you soon – after all its been over a month since we saw the show!

Wow, so that’s the sequel over it’s been fun and dramatic right? This will not be on the top 20 worst sequels of all time……(if it does, I’m coming after you ok!) Just one last installment and we can wave a fond farewell to 2010.

I’m afraid my dears there can be no rest for the decadently wicked

Guilty Pleasures - The Trilogy: Part 1 – Fellowship of the West End

Think of this as part “2010 – The year in Review” and part Lord of the Rings*

*Well it just wouldn’t be Christmas time without a good Trilogy (unfortunately this will only just scrape through as a substandard one…) This Trilogy is almost exactly like LOTR albeit without The Ring, Orcs, fighting, quests, massive spiders, hairy feet, creepy bald headed weirdo’s attempting to steal your ring and old men shouting “you shall not pass”. And, as a special treat I promise not to keep you here for over twelve hours (I assure you there will be no bonus features here) – in fact you should be on your way in plenty of time for a piece of Big Ben action at midnight……(make of that what you will my naughty minded cupcakes). So grab yourself a snowball (or other appropriately ridiculous beverage) and let’s get this mother started…..

Of course many, many…. .many, exciting things have happened to me this year (no, really they have) but since this is merely a Trilogy and I’m trying to get you off to party by the stroke of midnight I have decided to concentrate on just three things, Theatre, Cakes and Theatre Cakes, kicking off proceedings with Theatre.

2010 has been a fantastic year for the West End with ever growing audiences and a little help from the Guilty Pleasures Tour Bus group outings!! On the off chance that you have been wondering (and let’s face it, you probably have….and lets (two) face it, even if you haven’t I was going to tell you anyway…) where the GP Tour Bus has taken us in 2010 here’s a list!

An Inspector Calls
Avenue Q
Love Never Dies
Polly Rae - The Hurly Burly Show
Sister Act
Priscilla Queen Of The Desert
Women Beware Women
Les Misérables
Ghost Stories
Tap Dogs
Legally Blonde (several times….in fact it’s bordering on stalking)!
Wicked (3 times and I still can’t work out if I like it)!
Dirty Dancing (WTF)
John Barrowman (See “A Real Guilty Pleasure”)
Christmas With Lee Mead

All of these shows have been truly outstanding, however one I’m going to revisit in Part II so bear with……but the award for “Most Fun I’ve Had With My Pants On (and Their Pants Off)” goes to….

Hair - The Musical

I had previously thought that Hair was an extremely dated and clunky musical, the music that I had heard I loved but I just could not quite “get” the concept. I’m sure I’m not wrong often (??) but I really have to hold my hands up here and admit my short comings….in the words of the Great Mr Barrowman this show was “Fantastic Fantastic Fantastic!!”

Even the most stony of critics would have been er, hard pushed (oh gosh really…?) to disagree as the entire audience are enveloped in the pre PC, free loving, free spirit of 1960’s America. I say enveloped but I do assure the feint hearted amongst you that for the most part audiences are not required to disrobe at any time during the performance, even if the cast are….
Much has been written about the now infamous nude scene but those involved in the show, past and present, remark that the scene itself, rather than being sexual, is a statement on how in our society more is made of nudity than killing and war (the show being centred around conscription to the Vietnam War). The scene is actually so dimly lit that whilst attending a preview of the show in London, the American comedian Jack Benny quipped “'Did you happen to notice if any of them were Jewish?’ Now I’m not particularly political so it is fair to say that we were there for the music and the flesh! However upon turning to my friend to see which appendage she had preferred she answered that she was rummaging in her bag for something and had pretty much missed the entire scene. You would think that the West End would have some kind of provision in place for this kind of carelessness, maybe an action replay during the interval for those “too busy” to notice excess skin! Don’t worry my dears I shall call Andrew LW immediately and get this idea moving, I may even float it past the Dragons…
Ok so it’s not just great songs, a great cast and flapping pee pees (what am I 12??) that earn this show its very much deserved award. No, really it’s not (it just helped…)
The high point of this show and one of mine for 2010 is the finale. Have I gone mad? Am I really saying the end is the best part? Well yes I have and yes I am!
Throughout the show you have a real sense of vibrancy, anarchy and anti-establishment, the cast rather than being limited to performing solely on stage leap out into the stalls, stand on audience members chairs (and or audience members), thrust their musky loincloths in your face and inappropriately kiss those on the end of rows! The auditorium becomes their playground as they jump and dance across the boxes, galleries and seat backs with no apparent regard for their safety, come on they’re having too much fun!! We all were!!

With this in mind you would expect something special to round such an eventful afternoon…and we were not disappointed. I had always dreamed of dancing on a West End stage and with hundreds of other people that afternoon (and with no formal training) I finally got my wish!!! Everyone is invited to come dance and be free for the duration of the final song – in fact most of the cast had left before we did!
Due to the lack of nudity in Act II my friend was able to scramble about in her bag and take some pretty gorgeous pictures of the finale (although sadly you can only see me exiting the stage rather than bustin’ my rather killa’ moves – get me being all Gangsta!!

So there we are my lovelies, part one over – refresh your glass grab some Twiglets and I will see you back here for part two…

........I’m afraid my dears there can be no rest for the decadently wicked