Friday, 28 January 2011

Sleepless (4781.61 miles Out Of) Seattle

Now I don't remember a great deal about the movie (in fact so much brain killing booze has passed my lips since 1993* that I cant remember if I have even seen it all the way through) but I'm pretty sure that Meg Ryan wasn't stamping around her office barking at everyone who says good morning. Now THAT is just one of the differences between me and Meg this week....

(*I should point out, mainly for any mothers in the audience today, that I wasn't actually drinking in 1993....)

I adore sleep, its completely marvelous and entirely decadent, especially if you don't have children and can snooze as long as you want without having to get up and put CBeebies on. Unfortunately for me an uninterrupted sleep is a thing of what feels like the very distant past - in fact the idea is practically prehistoric (although if I am being uncharacteristically free from exaggeration I probably should just say..the week before Christmas 2010).
After seeing many movies and shows alerting me to the dangers of inviting guests into your home, think True Blood, Twilight, Supernatural, Let the Right One In.....and on and appears that I have been tricked (and not for the first time) by the naughty (and potentially maleficent) masquerading as the cute and charming.
Although the following picture of my new nemesis shows her in an adorably sassy mood , I do implore you not to be taken in. She can be rather like Gizmo so I suggest that no-one feeds her after midnight and for goodness sake don't get her wet....

Kittens (and mine in particular) are known to be playful, that's fine, I understand. Its all part of the fun but tell me this - how would you feel waking up almost every hour on the hour and being confronted with Twiglets alter ego? Its terrifying I assure you............

Ok Ok so she is not as scary as a camp 70's villain, Ka-Pow, BAM! fact she can (at times) be the sweetest thing on Earth (even if she does smell of Marmite...) But I did warn you, I'm moody through sleep deprivation!!

So whilst I have been cranky and moments away from dribbling onto my keyboard I heard about someone else with their own brand of sleep anomaly! I was asked to prepare a cake for someones 50th as a cheeky snapshot of her life. It appears that this lady is so exhausted from teaching little ones at school all day that invariably come 9pm (regardless of guests) she can be found, sound asleep on the sofa. I tried to stick with relaxing blues and neutral colours with this design in an attempt to relax myself and also to bring the focal point to Bec drifting off in her evening gown having kicked off her Louboutins for the day. For those interested in such things the Louboutins are a nod to a cake I made for her family member last year.

So spare a thought for those of us desperately counting sheep or merely cowering under the covers as a savage Twiglet beats you across the head (and most likely formulates a terrible and heart stopping plan to bring down Batman and all residents of Gotham City).

And please do not even get me started on the ghosts that live in my wall, I have not been so scared since Mr Pipes revealed himself in 1992 and Sarah Greene ended up trapped in the cupboard under the stairs!

And now it’s onto the next.....I’m afraid my dears there can be no SLEEP for the decadently wicked x


  1. I cannot believe the delicate and adorable Twiglet is causing you so many sleepless nights. How can something so cute cause so much chaos? Are you sure she isn't a mogwai?!! x

  2. Well Twiglet looks very charming but entirely crafty and mischievous so I'm surprised you didn't spot that sooner. If it makes you feel any better my Fi insists on getting me up every morning at no later than 6 for feeding, fine on a weekday but on a weekend, not so much.

    Have you considered catnip cakes to wear Twiglet out during the day??

    Also, from one Supernatural fan to another, Jenson Ackles is "Bow-chicka-wow-wow" Hot with a capital H - no wonder you're getting no sleep if that's what you're watching!!

    Hollie Half-Dear-Half-Man xx